In Don Miguel Ruiz’ book, The Mastery of Love, he describes the magical kitchen. You can read the full excerpt here. He likens the heart to a magical kitchen, capable of producing any kind of food we could want. If somebody shows up offering us pizza if we do whatever they ask, we’re not interested. We’ve got better pizza (and a million other kinds of food) in the kitchen already. But if we are hungry, we will all-too-quickly accept the offer. When it comes to love, some of us trade our free will just to have a little.
He tells us we don’t need to go out and get love. It’s right there inside of us.
So what does that mean for the wedding entrepreneur and what does it have to do with fearless, authentic generosity?
Too many of us make decisions in our business (or life) based on wanting to be liked. No, needing to be liked. We over-discount or work ourselves to death (or pretend to be someone we’re not at a networking event), thinking it is out of generosity, or because of our impressive work ethic or politeness, when (maybe) the truth is we’re doing it to be liked. Here’s a quick way to test it out: the next time you feel compelled to discount, think about NOT doing it. Are you afraid of losing the sale? Afraid of being thought of as stingy or profit-hungy? There’s a big difference between choosing to do something because we want to and feeling as though we need to do something. Because if you need to do it, you’re trapped.
All the love you need is already available to you. If you believe in God or anything bigger than us, I think that’s where love begins. You are more than enough. You don’t need to do anything to be worthy of love. And when you see that, you can give and give and give. Not because you need to, but because you want to.
Where in your life have you been basing decisions on your need to be liked (or your need for love, affection, success, etc.)? What’s it costing you?
When you bend to the will of others to gain their affection (or business), they control you. You deserve better. Remember that you always have a choice. Choose well.